Book Quotes

The Good Karma Divorce Quotes

While a former mate may well be replaceable, the moments shared and memories cannot ever be replaced. When we choose to corrupt good memories in order to detach, we sabotage our own healing.

Suffering is integral to finding out your life’s purpose. When you can give meaning to your suffering and acknowledge its transformative powers, you have changed your relationship to the life process.

Most of us usually think of death in the large sense, as in the death of the body, but we never think of going down the wrong emotional path as a series of small soul deaths. Every choice that takes us to a higher emotional path is a small reincarnation.

Anger is a flashy cover for fear and sadness. Real power comes with wisdom and an understanding of the source of our fears, but when wisdom and insight seem unavailable, the deceptive power of anger substitutes for them.

Blaming locks us into a mode whose primary focus is the determination of fault and the allocation of guilt. It is impossible to blame and resolve simultaneously

Fight the urge to watch Court TV: what you watch repeatedly can subconsciously stimulate an appetite for conflict that will be satiated only through anger and vengeance.

When thinking about your spouse, memories can flood your mind with sewage or sweetness. You can ruminate about your caravan of grievances or be grateful for what your mate added to your life.

Guilt has benefit if it calls us to account, but being “eaten up” by it is destructive. I have heard it said that good guilt lasts ten minutes and results in a behavioral change.

Learning from love and the pain of the disintegration of that love is a valuable use of our time.

During our divorce we try desperately to control our spouse, the system, and our experiences, but if we had that much control, we would never choose to be in any pain. better path is to stay open to all of life’s experiences—that is what liberation is all about. That is freedom.

Impermanence is part of the life cycle of human existence. Permanency and loyalty are beautiful objectives, but their loss should not be a basis for our self­ destruction; when you resist change, more suffering happens.

Vows are meant to be sacred, but a vow is really an aspiration. Your spouse’s unilateral decision that the vows no longer apply is not a license for you to destroy your life with anger.

Conscious change knows that in the ecology of our emotions, everything has to go somewhere. There is no real throwing away, and that in the landfill of our emotional dump, it would be best to process our waste material and have a hand in determining what it becomes.

Once you feel sorry for yourself, all your positive attributes are disregarded. Self-pity stations a Rottweiler at the gate of positive emotions.

In the beginning of your divorce the vision of your possibilities could have never been large enough, as you scrambled to hold on to former definitions about your identity. If you are open to what you can become and go beyond the limitations of your previous identity, all things are possible. It is difficult to know your real inside picture when you are focusing only on the frame.

We spend much mental effort on keeping score—who did what to whom and who owes whom. This is not our job: the laws of karma will take care of that, one way or another, sooner, later, or much later.

If we are unable to forgive, our spirit is heavy, even if it is resent meant against only one person. If we have resentment in us, it could create a barrier between us and everyone else. We must judge and separate those who will hurt us and those who will not. We must keep our sensors up at all times as we relate to other people. If we install a burglar­ alarm system, it is not just to keep out one person. Everyone is potentially a suspect.