The Good Karma Divorce

The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions Into Positive Actions, and Get On With the Rest of Your Life By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance

This title sounds like an oxymoron. How can one link “good karma” and “divorce?” Judge Michele Lowrance acknowledges that our present day life is mired in a “combative culture of divorce.” And yet she outlines in great detail how two combatants can come to workable solutions. Lowrance certainly has the background knowledge and experience to offer advice. She has been a judge in domestic relations court in Chicago since 1995. For two decades prior to that, she was a divorce attorney. And she is the veteran of two divorces of her own.

Lowrance lists the emotions people experience when going through a divorce. She analyzes their fear and anger and points out what may be behind those emotions. She suggests that the reader make lists as well. Writing can have a cathartic effect. She also gives extensive examples of how acting out of anger can be detrimental to one’s self and to the children. For example, what is gained by being stuck in the same cycle of anger 10 years after the divorce? Lowrance’s compassionate tone keeps the reader from feeling they are being talked down to or taken to task. She also gives specific examples of how life can be made easier during the horrendous procedure of a divorce, thus paving the way for a smoother life post-divorce.

One exercise that may seem impossible to many litigants is listing the benefits that were reaped from the relationship. Difficult as it may be, this recognition that it was not 100% bad is essential to the negotiating process and to one’s future life, even if there are no children to deal with.

Another point that may appear even more difficult to achieve is forgiveness. Lowrance calls forgiveness a “weapon of mass construction.” She explains how “forgiveness benefits the forgiver.” Her explanations and examples are the best I’ve ever read. You don’t need to be in the midst of a divorce to use the guidance in this section. Considering the 50% divorce rate in this country, this book should be required reading for those contemplating divorce. —Catherine Ferguson, Psychic for Pets and People, www.cfergusonconsult.com, Jersey City, N.J.